The Last of the Masketeers

I find it incredible that, when I walk around the city, I still see people with their faces half swathed in dirty pieces of cloth. The fact that they are self-muzzlers by choice, rather than reluctantly donning a face diaper under duress, due the draconian diktats of a tyrannical government health official, boggles the mind.

What are they hiding from – covid, swine flu, bird flu, monkey pox, sloth fever, fish fever, squirrel sickness, lizard lurgy, pangolin pox, mongoose malaise, some other fake animal-derived malady concocted by the lame stream media, or maybe it’s just a bad case of dodgy dentistry?

They appear different now, though. Their confident gait and air of virtue-signalling, arrogance has evaporated. Now they amble around, pale wraiths, bereft of purpose. Like the second world war, Japanese soldiers, wandering round the woods for years, still wearing their uniforms, not knowing the war had ended, these covid warriors, wander about, still donning the tattered remains of their covid costumes about their faces, seemingly oblivious that the war on covid, fake though it was, is long since over.

Once they saw themselves as the masketeers, superheroes fighting covid crime by ranting at those people who had dared to think for themselves by realising that suffocating oneself by wrapping a piece of filthy rag or paper thin mask around their face, the openings of which were vastly bigger than the elusive viral particles, was akin to trying to catch smoke in a butterfly net, and so refused to succumb to the ridiculous charade.

Now those naked-face-shamers are in the tiny minority, their superhero courage has mysteriously abandoned them and saving grannies is no longer their raison d'être. Now they shuffle about like confused extras in a zombie movie, after the credits have rolled, so used to playing their roles they can’t return to normality.

But then they don’t really want to return to reality. They enjoyed that time of being fictional face-cloth-clad heroes. They enjoyed pretending they were superior. They loved screaming tirades of abuse at those members of the public who hadn’t drank the covid Kool Aid, and actually believed that being able to breathe without the hinderance of face muzzle was a basic prerequisite for good health. They revelled in their condescending diatribes aimed at those who had the wit to realise the whole thing was a con and refused to partake in crimes against the human face.

It wasn’t just the face masks, though. The masketeers were true believers, true disciples of the covidian sect. They went the whole hog in believing the hogwash.

Anyone with an I.Q higher than that of a juniper bush could tell that the entire gamut of rules and regulations around covid were preposterous, but the masketeers, perhaps suffering from oxygen depletion due to trying to smother themselves to death with a piece of rancid rag wrapped around their breathing orifices, believed every ludicrous word of it. I suppose if you think that covering your face with something that will adversely affect your breathing will save you from a virus that will adversely affect your breathing, you will believe anything.

You would believe, for example, that a virus could tell the time so it would only attack people after the curfew deadline. You would believe a virus would be skilled in numeracy as it only attacks people if there are more than six in their group. You would believe the virus had a degree in metrology, because only an expert in measurement, could discern the precise moment when two people approached each other at distance of slightly less than six feet before viciously assaulting them or at what height the top of one’s head had to be in a restaurant so as to be able to differentiate between a very tall seated person or a very small standing person, before ignoring the former and targeting the latter.

You would also believe, as I witnessed on numerous occasions, that removing your mask to have a puff on a cigarette will not in any way make you more susceptible to an illness that will cause you respiratory problems.

You would also believe that being jabbed by an experimental gene-therapy injection and boostered five times thereafter, was a tremendous way of protecting you from covid even though you got covid after every injection. You would also believe that people who didn’t get jabbed where endangering those that did get jabbed even though you believe the jab works to protect you 100% from getting covid and only those that are unjabbed can get it. You would also believe in unicorns elves, pixies, fairies and that the moon is made of Camembert and Bill Gates is a really nice guy.

Perhaps I should feel sorry for them. When you look at them it reminds me of the propaganda posters the U.K. government had plastered around everywhere during covid. The ones of a close-up of an actor’s face in an oxygen mask saying, “Look him in the eyes and tell him, the risk isn’t real.” Only these people aren’t actors with oxygen masks, they are real people with oxygen-depriving masks and we really should go up and look them in the eye and say the threat isn’t real, but what would be the point. They are now brainwashed , mind-controlled, members of the covid cult and no logic or facts will ever change that.

Then again, they don’t really deserve our pity. It is because of the masketeers, and people like them, that we were subjected to the totalitarian nightmare that was the covid years. These people didn’t just want you to mask up, they would want you to jab up. If they had their way they would tie you, your spouse, your kids and your pet dog down, put hoods over your head and inject you all with the toxic, cancer-causing, heart-attack-inducing, gene-altering, vaccines. They would mandate jabs, mandate masks, mandate quarantine. If they were told that, by following the science, they could prevent infection if everyone hopped about naked on their left leg at sub-zero temperatures whilst wearing a dead pig on their head they would order an immediate cull of the porcine population, mandatory removal of one’s dextral lower limb, the exile of everyone to Siberia and the forced removal of everyone’s clothing when they got there.

These people may be pathetic but they are also dangerous. They are tyrants just waiting for the recruitment forms for Gulag guards to be advertised and they will be reaching for their pens to sign up.

That is what worries me. In recent days there seems to be slight increase in their numbers. Is there a group of previously unknown maskers that, overcome with nostalgia, are now prepared to come out of the closet to try revive the good old covid days? Or are they breeding? Although I can’t see how that could happen as masketeers clearly spend most of their time alone, wallowing in their basement, wearing full hazmat gear over a suit of armour and trying to remove that in a hurry would be a real passion killer. Anyway, what would be the point, as they view all humans as mere disease vectors, if anyone got within six feet of them, they would either drop dead of fright or attempt to pummel them into submission with a salvo of Big Pharma pseudoscience soundbites and propaganda.

So, be on your guard, be alert, the maskeeters are still active. Do not approach. They are usually solitary creatures but if they are spotted in a group formation, they will have achieved herd immunity and they will be even more immune to facts and logic than when travelling alone. If cornered wave a photo of Dr Fauci in front of them and they will fall to their knees in adoration. Failing that, say NHS three times and they will start applauding like demented seals. You can then safely exit and depart rapidly to the nearest sanctuary of sanity - the local conspiracy theorists’ clubhouse, where you will be welcomed by people who haven’t yet had their brains removed and replaced by a skull full of kumquats, and where you can safely walk about, unmasked and unvaccinated without fear of being accused of murdering your elderly, female relatives.